Email ElizabethAssholes, Steve Jobs and the Smiley Face Mac
Because I don’t preplan my Sacramento real estate blogs and write fresh every morning, yesterday was the first day in almost a decade that I did not write a blog, and you know what –no kickback about it, no consequences and nobody cared. That shows how significant my words in a daily blog are — nobody gives a crap. This real estate agent could have dropped dead, and someday will, and the first clue will be no blog that day.
The problem began when I slept in and therefore overslept. Then my phone started ringing at 7:30 AM and did not stop all day. I recharged it twice. I’m up late most nights reading Steve Jobs, the biography by Walter Isaacson. It’s such an enthralling book and not because Jobs was an asshole. I deal with enough of those types in real estate, and Jobs was a level above those guys because he’s also had charisma on top of being a genius. He got kicked out and rose again, like a Phoenix. Most real assholes I run into through my business are assholes to the core, simple guys, but Jobs seemed more complex. Like his asshole-ness was so completely integrated into his personality that it was more easily forgiven.
But I’m not reading the book because I’m fascinated by Steve Jobs; I’m reading it because I have been an Apple customer for more than 25 years, and it’s like reading my own history.
Ah, with fond memories I recall the Macintosh, the PowerMac, and the G3. Some of them are sitting in my garage. I can’t bear to destroy or wipe the hard drives, so I can’t give them away. The will probably sit in my garage until they rust. They are relics already. They will never turn into an antique. Even now I smile thinking about the days of a smiley Mac face and how that image appearing on my computer monitor meant everything was all right with the world. No frowny faces. Plus, one can always depend on a Mac. You can’t say that about Windows.
Between house renovations and in the midst of my real estate endeavors in the 1990s, I worked on the side for a few years as a communications director at a nonprofit in Minnesota for the second largest industry in Minnesota: printing. I outfitted that nonprofit with Macs. Networked the computers myself. Signed up all of the employees for AOL. Even when the president who is now long dead subscribed to DSL (to track internet activity, among other reasons), I still kept a modem under my desk and used it with muted sound for personal activities.
Today, I own iPads, an iPod, iShuffle, iPhone, a desktop Power Mac, a PowerBook with state-of-the-hard drive drive, and I’m an iTunes customer. Do you know that Apple does not make its own product to transfer music between all of your devices and one has to pay a third-party vendor for that service? This is what happens when Steve Job dies.
Where Not to Go for a Massage in Land Park
One of the best ways for this agent to deal with a million and one little crises in Sacramento real estate is to head for the nearest spa for a Swedish massage. It’s been about a year since I’ve been over to the spa on 6th Street at Southside Park, but it’s been on my mind recently. The reason is a seller of a home near Southside Park met with me at my real estate office in Midtown last week to talk about selling a family home on U Street. That home is right around the corner from a certain bed and breakfast spa, but when I mentioned the Spa, he did not realize it was there, although it’s been in business at that location for years.
This Spa at Southside Park — the name of which is not relevant– is close to my home in Land Park, and I consider myself a regular client, even though it’s been a while since I made an appointment. I called on Friday and left a message. When nobody called back, I called again and left another message. Around noon on Saturday, I called a third time and this time a live person answered the phone. She promised to check on an appointment and call me back in 10 minutes. I waited an hour and called her again.
The employee at the Spa said she had left a voice mail. What number did she call? Turns out she had written down my number incorrectly and left a voice mail on somebody else’s phone. And she had called not in 10 minutes as promised but 30 minutes later, she confessed. See, this is the thing — you don’t tell a person you will call them back in 10 minutes and then not do it. Plus, you make sure you have called the right number.
Gah.
All the more reason to have a massage. These people can be irritating. But, wait, it gets better. Then the owner called me an hour before my appointment. She said her employee forgot to obtain my credit card number to verify the appointment. My appointment was in one hour, for crying out loud. I find it odd that you need to pressure me for my credit card number to assure that I will show up, even though I am a regular client, I complained. She glossed over that comment and demanded my credit card number.
In retrospect, I should have refused and hung up the phone. I considered it. But then I would not have received a massage.
Which, as it turned out, would not have been a big loss. It was unlike any Swedish massage I’ve ever had. Lots of stroking over and over. Not much pressure, even though I requested more pressure. A Swedish massage is a little bit like a pancake: you bake one side, flip it and do the other. When I turned over, I received a lot of stroking down each side of my neck and then there were hands on my head, squeezing here and there. I was pronounced done.
Where did they find this guy? Did they yank him out behind the counter at Mak’s gas station?
I asked if this Spa was under new ownership. Yes, it is.
There is a massage place over on 19th Street in Midtown. It’s a bit further to drive and not as convenient but I imagine they’re doing a bang-up business there. I can see why. There is also a spa on Riverside in Land Park, which is even closer to my home, that I should check out. Because this former client won’t be going back to that place at Southside Park.
The Difference Between a Challenge and a PITA for a Sacramento REALTOR
There is a big difference between a challenge and a pain-in-the-ass (PITA) when it comes to Sacramento real estate for a REALTOR. A challenge presents obstacles that beg to be overcome and resolved, whereas a PITA just gets worse and nothing will fix those problems. It’s sometimes difficult to figure out which is which when they first appear in front of me. I like to try to help every buyer and seller who contact this Sacramento REALTOR. But when I start to question why-oh-why am I working on a house, that’s a definite clue that I should not.
I am not afraid of hard work. I don’t care how complicated a situation presents, I am confident that I will find a way to make it work out. It’s why I am successful. In fact, it’s how I sell hundreds of homes. It’s how, for example, that since 2006 I’ve sold more short sales than any other agent in town. So many agents would not touch those houses with a 10-feet pole. But not this agent. I welcome challenges. It’s how I turned into an exceptional Sacramento REALTOR.
If you have a difficult to home to sell, I’m your agent. I’ll do it. I gain deep satisfaction by successfully closing the seemingly impossible. By the same token, I welcome the easy-to-sell homes and I do a bang-up job selling homes in Land Park, East Sacramento and Elk Grove, all the way in some cases to Lincoln. The really nice homes in Sacramento owned by trouble-free sellers balances out the problematic sales. I take the good with the bad.
So, when a seller called, wiping away tears through our discussion about selling a certain home in Elk Grove, I decided to help her. Yes, I can be a sucker for a sob story. I sometimes feel as though if I don’t do it, who will? Many agents don’t like problems and they won’t work on situations fraught with difficulties. She faces an extremely complicated situation, made ten-fold by a super hard-to-sell property. Whatever pushed her to the edge meant she had to take action, pronto. I stopped what I was doing and jumped on this for her. Took copious notes. Shot photos. Inspected. Qualified. Put together a game plan, gathered required documents.
This went on for a two-week period. Finally, we were ready to go on the market. No more frantic text messages. No more interpreters. We were set. This seller’s 3-year battle was about to come to an end. Then, the seller emailed to say the timing wasn’t quite right. Maybe some other time? I guess there is a reason this has been going on for three years. It has nothing to do with me. It will never get resolved through a real estate agent. That nagging thought about why was I doing this vanished, because I’m not doing it. Not now, not ever.
It’s not a challenge. It’s a PITA. In those situations, a Sacramento REALTOR has to say no.
Thoughts of an Elk Grove Listing Gets an Agent Through an MRI
Who would have thought that thinking about Elk Grove listings could help an agent get through an MRI? If the MRI technician at UC Davis had never mentioned anything about breathing to me, I probably would have been OK, but he had to tell me. It was just a small rotator cuff tear I was there for. I’ve had a bunch of MRIs over the years, and I had never before been informed about the breathing. I’m not sure if that was an oversight or maybe I just looked like a person who would do a lot of heavy breathing inside the machine. Perhaps it was my Dry Tortugas t-shirt, which the technician also commented on because he used to live in Key West.
That boat trip to Dry Tortugas is now firmly embedded in my brain as an experience for which I am extremely grateful that it now belongs in my past and not in my future.
The problem breathing causes inside the MRI machine, he said, is if your breaths are too deep and big it will make the image bounce. Ditto if your breaths are short, fast and choppy. There is also the claustrophobia some people experience inside an MRI but probably would not happen if nobody ever mentioned it. Not only am I lying quietly and still, but I’m wondering why I’m not feeling claustrophobic. Plus, I am paying special attention to my breathing. Not too slow, not too fast.
Uh, oh, it feels like my breathing is suppressed. I wonder if it’s too slow? Relax, relax, in and out, in and out. How many breaths is that per minute? Too many? Aaaahhh. See, there is nothing else to do while the machine is doing its thing: DING DING DING DING, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. It’s not like you can sleep.
What is that on the side of my face? It feels like a tear. Why do I have a tear rolling down my cheek, ever so slowly? I can’t wipe it or touch it. What is making my eyes water? Uh, oh, how many breaths is that per minute? BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING. Speaking of moisture, now I have to swallow. I definitely feel a big lump sitting there ready to go down my throat. If I swallow, will it interfere with the imaging? Probably. Just like the breathing. I have to lie perfectly still.
What the hell! My nose feels like it’s going to drip. It’s not like I can snort, which is so unladylike anyway, much less blow my nose, even if I had a Kleenix, which I don’t. What is building in my nasal passages — a master suite with its very own waterfall? Gah. Breathe slowly and steadily. Perhaps I should think about something other than what’s happening at the moment. I could think about any of my present escrows and upcoming new listings. Maybe that burned-out house in Elk Grove I have to list next week? Yeah, that will do the trick. Focus on my new listings in Elk Grove.
Dealing With Unreasonable Buyers After a Home Inspection
A home inspection is only for a buyer’s edification and not a license to ask for repairs after a home inspection, but what do buyers know? When it comes to advising clients in a real estate transaction, this Sacramento real estate agent is direct with her advice. There is no skirting around the issue. I try to present a balanced picture for clients, pros and cons of actions they could take or ignore, especially when it comes to the dreaded Request for Repairs, which are often a buyer’s response to a home inspection. I wish often that agents would provide a better education for their clients, but then that would involve recommending top-notch home inspectors at all times, and that’s just not a reality.
Sometimes, the buyers don’t want to hire the agent’s home inspector because they don’t trust their agent. Which is always a lovely situation. They might think their agent is likely to recommend some doofus home inspector who won’t do a thorough job or who will gloss over some stupid repair, which is idiotic thinking, but what are ya gonna do? You can’t easily change how a stubborn person thinks, especially if they won’t listen. Therefore, often what perpetrates a problematic request for repair is a home inspector’s bad home inspection report.
It’s not bad in the way that a buyer would think in that a home inspector was covering up an issue. To start with, home inspectors don’t cover up issues. They expose issues. The main problems are some that home inspectors expose issues that don’t exist or insist that items are broken / need repair when said whatchamacallits are perfectly fine.
One can also throw into that mix an agent who whips out a pad and starts writing down all of the buyer’s concerns without so much as lifting the pen from the page or discussing them. Being an order taker is not what a buyer’s agent is all about. I would shrivel up and die if I presented a Request for Repair to a listing agent like some of the documents I receive. Some of the requests are just a list of every defect from the home inspection. What that tells me is the buyer’s agent either has absolutely no guts or else no clue — either way it’s bad. Sometimes agents behave like they are order takers and not real estate agents.
Maybe they’re simply exhausted and worn down by the buyer? That can happen. But then the rest of us are stuck with explaining why the home inspector was wrong in the report and why we can’t perform the repair requested. Besides, sellers are not required to fix anything the buyer complains about. Every home in California is sold AS IS. But most sellers want the buyers happy with their new home, so we try to find a way to keep everybody on the path to closing.
I just wish buyers would select one or two major issues like most sensible buyers would do. But then, this is Sacramento real estate wherein expecting things to make sense could render one a crazy person. You know the definition of insanity, right?
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