Email ElizabethPreparing for a Trip to the Dry Tortugas from Key West
Elizabeth Weintraub goofing off at Key West Harbor
Scratching no-see-um bites is pretty much fruitless because they take much longer to go away when you do that, yet I continue to scratch. We bought plenty of bug spray and “after bite” if the bug spray didn’t work. Doesn’t stop insects from munching on my yummy skin. I’ve tried pulverizing the bites in my jetted tub. (Note to self, don’t use body wash in a jetted tub because the bubbles will crawl out to the balcony.) But bugs aren’t the big problem in Key West, really, it’s more like scorpions, so that’s why they let the chickens and roosters run loose. The chickens help to control the scorpion population. I wish I didn’t know that fact.
Conch house, Caroline Street, Key West
We wandered down Caroline Street yesterday morning to admire the Conch homes. These stunning structures are a mixture of Plantation Colonial, Victorian and New Orleans style homes, all rolled into one delightful piece of architecture. It’s pleasing to the eye. I adore the ornamental detail and railed-in porches, both on the first floor as well as the second. Many were originally built in the 1800s. Some listings say the homes are CSB, and I’m not sure what it means. Cement structure basement? Chicken side of bacon?
Later I checked prices on a few, because being a Sacramento real estate agent I can’t help myself, and the renovated larger homes start at about $1.5 million. You can add another million or two or four to that sales price if you want to buy a conch home on the Gulf of Mexico or the Atlantic Ocean.
Key West Harbor Walk
The reason we ended up on Caroline Street is because #1) we meant to tour that street and #2) it runs parallel to the Old Town Harborwalk of Key West. Since we’ve got reservations for the boat to Dry Tortugas National Park this morning, we thought it might be a good idea to track down exactly where we boarded. Good thing we did so because it’s hard to find, and nobody seems to know exactly where it is or, if they do know, they were not telling us. The boarding spot is from the Ferry Terminal, second floor check-in, way at the end of the marina. We need to be onboard at 7:15 A.M. for the two-hour journey, 70 miles off the coast of Key West and maybe 110 miles from Cuba. We will tour Fort Jefferson, built during the Civil War, and probably go snorkeling, searching for turtles, and colorful saltwater fish, maybe a bit of birding.
Sailing vessel anchored in Harbor Walk, Key West
I will write more tomorrow about our trip to Dry Tortugas, providing we don’t drown. The winds are kicking up something awful, and the waves are probably cresting at 2- to 3-feet. I won’t think about that as we make our way in the early morning hours to the harbor.
Perhaps, instead, I shall ponder how yesterday had been a fairly inactive day, as far as crawling down Duval Street goes. I plan to start my exercise program and diet next week. Calories burned walking to the Harbor Marina: 225. Calories consumed (not counting the Margarita nor the Hemingway Daiquiri): 3,750. Number of tattoos received: zero. Number of cigars smoked: zero.
Key West Butterflies, Flamingos and Southernmost Spot
Butterfly at Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory
A perfect childhood described to me by Joanna, a woman I once hired decades ago as my intern, had been filled with memories of sitting cross-legged on the soft grass in her yard, surrounded by fluttering butterflies kissing her face, and she was so happy, at peace, filled with joy. She grinned wide while sharing this story. Some kids live fairy tale lives, unlike my awful upbringing. I blurted out I hate you and she laughed.
It’s not too late to get that fluttering surrounded-by-butterflies experience in Key West, though. We walked from the north end of Key West, fighting crazy cruise-ship tourist traffic along Duval, all the way to the south end to visit the Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory. The day was hot, humid, 81 degrees, and we met an occasional downpour along the way, which meant we were forced to stop for ice cream. Once inside the the conservatory where the butterflies live, we noticed the temperature went up a few notches, but we didn’t care.
Flamingo at Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory
Here, hundreds of butterflies, prancing, pruning, warming their scaled wings in the mist of lush tropical vegetation; a winding walkway looping back and forth, waterfalls, dozens of birds and small chicken-like babies scattering and pecking along the ground; it was an exotic paradise. If you stood very still, butterflies landed on your head and shoulders. In the center of all of this is a pond, and oh, my gosh, there lives two strutting flamingos. Crap, we searched all through the Everglades National Park, from numerous entrances, including Flamingo Visitor Center and we found no flamingos. In fact, we were told there are no flamingos in Everglades National Park, contrary to what we had previously been led to believe.
Black and white butterfly searching for nectar
Yet, here they were. Granted, this is not the wild, but it is a place to see flamingos up close and personal. These birds seem to spend most of their time with their beaks in the water, digging up the ground beneath, searching for food. Not much different than any other kind of bird’s continual search for food.
The south end of Key West was much windier yesterday than the other end. We walked out to South Beach and onto the pier, weeding our way through the sea of drinking-rum-in-coconut tourists, many of whom were Asian. Bags of litter, white foam, seaweed and other sea vegetation swirled in the water below us but that did not stop swimmers from swimming. The water was a milky color and did not appear inviting to me.
Tourists at the South Beach pier in Key West
I slumped to the cement and leaned up against a pole to shoot photos with my cellphone. My husband was busy taking a picture when one of the foreign tourists bent over to motion him to move out of the way so she could take the picture she wanted to take. She then shoved her foot under my leg and tried to lean over my head to shoot a photo. I straightened up. She sighed. It was an unmistakable sigh of frustration. She was too polite and perhaps did not know enough English to say “excuse me, get the hell outta my way,” but that’s what she was thinking, so I did not budge.
A short skip and a jump from that beach is what is billed as the southernmost point in the continental United States. That’s not really true because the military base at Key West is further south. It’s the southernmost point that the public can reach. The State of Florida has to define the spot as continental because this Key West place is also not the southernmost spot in the United States. The true southernmost spot in America is located on the Big Island of Hawaii.
A Catalude at the Hemingway House in Key West
Polydactyl Rudolph Valentino at Hemingway House on Elizabeth Weintraub’s lap
Read carefully: tops, bottoms and shoes required for entrance. You don’t see a sign like that every day posted at a business, much less at a museum but hey, this is Key West. After spring break last year, the Hemingway House staff found it necessary to post such a notice at its ticketing desk. This house is such an attraction in Key West that tourists lined up down the street to get inside. Most of them were probably there solely to pet the 6-toed cats and couldn’t give a hoot about Hemingway or recall anything he wrote, if they even read his novels in the first place.
Hemingway House in Key West
They hold weddings at the Hemingway House. It doesn’t seem like a romantic way to start a future together, getting married at the home of a philanderer, much less a guy who had 4 wives and thought nothing of shooting enormous animals through the eyes and then mounting them on his wall, but what the heck. I guess we all romanticize history in our own ways.
Much of the home remains in its original condition, high ceilings, crown molding, hardwood and tiled floors. The first floor is laid out in kind of an odd manner in a circle, with its tiny kitchen and smallish bath at the back of the home. Each room contains some item pertaining to Hemingway such as artifacts, framed photographs, personal letters, war medals and books. The grand staircase leading to the second floor is surprisingly narrow, maybe 24-inches-wide at best. There is another building out back, and up those stairs to a large room is where the magic happened: Hemingway’s writing. A cat now nestles in his inbox. Many descendants of his cats remain on the property.
Black cats at Hemingway House
What I can humbly admit was the highlight of my visit and quite possibly one of the nicest things that has ever happened to me is when Rudolph Valentino, one of the polydactyl cats, jumped without an invitation into my lap. Many of the other cats in the household — about 45 are in residence — were ornery and grumpy, as you would be if somebody kept poking you and shoving a camera into your face 8 hours a day.
Rudoplph sat in my lap quietly, purring, inviting me to pet him, so I did what he wanted. Then, he stood up on my lap and began kneading my knees, extending and contracting his giant claws, which resulted in shredding my t-shirt. Still, I sat there and let him do it. This is what cats do to you.
Other tourists came by. I warned one little Asian girl who reached out to pet Rudolph that he bites. Another tourist stooped down to take my picture with her cellphone, yeah, right, my eyes flashed and I held out my hand to demand: Five bucks, please. Rudolph insisted I return both hands to petting him as one hand was no longer sufficient.
If you are wondering if the penny is indeed embedded by a post near the 65-foot pool, it is indeed.
Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub and Adam Weintraub
The Morning of New Year’s Eve in Key West
Key West Hotel Pool on Oceanfront
Not surprisingly, Key West guidebooks don’t tell you that if you stay at an oceanfront resort near Mallory Square, you might very well wake up to a docked honkin’ huge cruise ship blocking your view of sunrises until evening sunsets. It’s not like these floating cities are indiscreet or small, they take up the space of 3 city blocks. Yet, the party goes on and on, just like Peter Gabriel’s ghost likes to travel. It’s a good time to celebrate New Year’s Eve in Key West.
White pelicans look so intelligent
This New Year’s Eve morning in Key West, the cruise ship is gone. Herring gulls are screeching, flying back and forth near our balconies; and I can only imagine that this behavior is due to some hotel guests either deliberately feeding them or thoughtlessly leaving food scraps where the birds can reach. It’s like gulls are yelling: get up, it’s 8:00 a.m.; where’s my bagel? The sounds of birds certainly beats that persnickety baby whining down below, and I’m so relieved his parents had the good sense to pick up their bottles of beer and chocolate doughnuts and wheel the kid off the pier.
Key West Pier Early Afternoon
If that doesn’t wake you up, Room Service will. We could leave a note on the door-hanger order that asks the deliverer to quietly open the door, deposit the cart and leave, like I have done on other occasions. There is no reason I need to meet face-to-face with a food-service cart pusher when my hair looks like it got caught in a blender on the way to the door, with one arm in my robe and the other sleeve over my leg dragging the tie.
Bougainvillea in hotel lobby at Key West
After one is up and retreats to her balcony to place laptop in lap because the table is too low to type, unless one wants to plant fat butt on hard cold ceramic floor, there is no going back to sleep. The hotel guys are busy pushing out all of the carts, grills, tables, folding chairs, cut-out palm tree stands and other important decorative accessories to the pier, clanging, jangling. Tonight, all of Key West will descend on this place to watch the Key Lime Ball drop and celebrate New Year’s Eve in Key West. Our bellman — who told us “we do not judge in Key West,” yet some fool pushed our tutu-wearing bellman off his bike and gave him a gash on his forehead — will be there, no doubt.
Pink Floyd Singer in Mallory Square
Elbow-to-elbow bodies, spilling drinks on each other, shrieking, hollering, dancing, bumping and grinding, singing at the top of their merry little COPD lungs and having a helluva good time, which they will not remember the following morning. I wish I could show you a photo of the Key Lime Ball drop, as I am in a good position to do so. But that would require staying up until midnight to enjoy a proper New Year’s Eve in Key West, and that just ain’t gonna happen.
Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub and Adam Weintraub
Flippers Grandkids at the Dolphin Research Center
Dolphin Research Center, Florida Keys
Before heading to Key West today with our luggage in the back seat — because these darned Mustangs are not built like a Porsche, featuring rear and front luggage compartments, not that a person in my party has too many bags of luggage, and I’m not saying whom — my husband and I decided to drive luggage free yesterday to visit the extended family of Flipper at the Dolphin Research Center in Marathon at Grassy Key.
I first heard about the bottlenose dolphin family of Flipper’s children and grandchildren from Myrl Jeffcoat when she visited the Florida Keys a couple of years ago. This woman is often my inspiration for travel as she comes up with the best ideas of places to go; however, I had forgotten her trip to Florida until the subject of dolphins arose. Not much has changed since Myrl was there.
The Michael Jackson Dolphin Moon Walk
This is not Sea World, by any stretch. Proceeds from the programs, entertainment, entrance fees and gift shop go to support this nonprofit in its research of dolphins. My husband says the **original owner went off the deep end after founding the place and becoming move involved with the dolphins, like he was certain that dolphins communicated with aliens. Hey, I say, if cats can do it, why not dolphins? I’m open-minded that way.
Each dolphin has a name, responds to an individual whistle and develops its own particular personality. They can live 25 to 50 years, obviously much less in the wild, although they seem to remain childlike. In some ways, they are much like humans. Mothers protect their children. They laugh. They play with toys. They can be bribed with food, and they can do stupid human tricks. They watch us. People walking down a boardwalk are great entertainment for them, much like sitting on the front porch, sipping a sarsaparilla and watching traffic, I imagine.
These marvelous sweet creatures will do flips in the air, walk backwards on their tail, swim at a super fast speed like superman, flap their fins in the water like they are marching, as well as take tourists for a ride through the water by letting them hang on their dorsal. Many visitors from all over the world come to the Dolphin Research Center. Most of the programs involve a separate fee, then a professional photographer takes photos of the tourists and sells those photos at the end of the session.
If you like, you can also buy a door draft — it’s a stuffed dolphin toy with an incredibly long tail. The staff at the gift shop counter ties them into long rope and plays jump rope after hours. Because we asked what was up with the goofy dolphin, stoner-like dude gave us that explanation after he joked that we would not imagine — just so we wouldn’t have to imagine a Portlandia-like episode of gyrating orgies on the counter, which it was too late for. I just bought a t-shirt and a tiny dolphin souvenir. Couldn’t help myself.
Gambit at the Dolphin Research Center, Florida
Glued to the TV as a kid in the early 1960s, I had watched every episode of Flipper. Living in Florida seemed so exciting to this Midwestern girl, airboat rides through the Everglades and Flipper. What wasn’t to like about Florida? I asked how many dolphins played Flipper on TV, wondering if it was a situation like with the many dogs who played Lassie, but the tour guide swears it was only one dolphin with two stand-ins, in case Flipper was busy eating fish or something.
**My husband was mistaken — he was thinking about John Lilly from St. Thomas and NOT the founder of the Dolphin Research Center, and he apologizes for the mistake. Me? I just write what he tells me and when he realizes I have done so, he makes amends.
Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub and Adam Weintraub
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