Email ElizabethWhen Is the Right Time for Women to Embrace Gray Hair?
Many women never face the dilemma of trying to decide when the time is right for gray hair. Because their hair just does its thing. There’s that first little gray hair, SPROING, that pops up like an errant coil, which has most certainly transported itself from the nether regions to the top of your head, and you see it curling into midair, messing up an otherwise perfectly good hair day. Ack. Pluck. The minute you pluck, the gray hairs multiple like rabbits because the next time you squint into the mirror, they’re all over your head and you’re not yet 30.
Lots of women just shrug their shoulders and get on with life, letting their hair do whatever it chooses and adjusting to it. I envy those women. I’ve never belonged to those ranks. You can bet the first sign of gray hair, I turned to one of my best friends, Clairol in a box, and never looked back.
Emmylou Harris
There was a guy on some chat board years ago who jumped into the middle of an online discussion about coloring your hair. He declared with great certainty that his grandmother, who hailed from Spain, had obviously been blessed such strong bloodlines or hereditary that her hair remained black as coal to the day she she died in her 90s. Another woman on the board scoffed at the notion and informed the guy that despite his beliefs, his grandmother colored her hair. Very sad frowny-face. That was like telling a kid there is no Santa Claus. Some things people just don’t need to know. It’s cruel.
Today, I am left looking at other older women, like Emmylou Harris, 68, with her head of shiny white hair. She is beautiful. Emmylou went gray a long time ago. She embraced it. Or, look at Judy Collins, age 71, and still playing on tour, lots of long, white hair. Enormously talented and gorgeous. We last saw her perform at the Crest Theatre in downtown Sacramento about a year ago. Having gray hair doesn’t mean you have to cut it off and wear it short.
Judy Collins
I think there comes a point when you say to yourself that you’d rather be more real. Or, maybe you just get tired of having your roots colored all the time. Our friend, author Eileen Rendahl from Davis, wrote Do Me, Do My Roots, about 3 sisters, promoted by the cutline: never let them see your gray. We all make our own individual choices, and it’s OK.
I leave you with this, one day the thought will hit almost all of us. The thought of: what if I didn’t color my hair? What would happen if I let it grow out to its natural state? Long, curly, spirals of silver. Well, I’m not going to do that. Because that requires a lot of patience and downtime, looking, well, downright weird. Looking like you forgot to fix your hair. Or, you’re demented.
But I have been blonde off and on over the years — as evidenced by the photo at the top of this page, which was taken right after a hair appointment, when they supplied goofy glamour shots with your bleach job, so 1990s. This is how I know my hair will strip. Then, I can add a silver toner. Which means don’t be astonished when one day I march into the room and you don’t recognize me. Besides, if I don’t like it, I can always add a reverse skunk streak.
Is Dropping the Sales Price of Your Home a Good Idea?
Among Sacramento Realtors, every agent has an opinion. And you know what they say about opinions, right? Among professional Sacramento Realtors with experience and a track record, the latter tend to employ time-tested strategies suited to the type of real estate market at hand. I understand that it’s hard to tell the difference between a Realtor who knows what she is doing versus one who does not. There is a lot of bad advice going around, which might be where some sellers picked up the idea that it is a good idea to drop the sales price.
I talked with a seller yesterday who said he was in no rush to sell and implied that when he received an offer, he could issue a counter offer giving himself the ability to wait a week or so to respond. He might be a lawyer, I don’t recall. Most of my lawyer clients I adore, although they tend to analyze themselves to death at times. However, I do know that a buyer is unlikely to wait a week for a seller to decide whether to take an offer. A buyer is likely to hold up a finger representing an international symbol recognized worldwide.
I’m not even sure what that means: I’m in no rush to sell. I suppose it is a defense mechanism, designed to imply that the seller is nobody’s fool. Nobody is gonna take advantage of that seller, because gosh darn it, the seller is no rush to sell. The seller will just leave that home sitting on the market to rot until it is avoided by every real estate agent and buyer in town. It’s akin to saying: we can always drop the sales price.
There are many things wrong with dropping the sales price. You may as well take out a gun and shoot yourself in the foot as an attention diverter for all the harm it’s likely to do. There are ways to fix the mistake of overpricing, but dropping the sales price is not the way to do it. You can read more in this piece today about The Problems With Dropping the Sales Price. I promise you, it’s an eye opener.
About Sacramento Realtors Making Decisions for Clients
Probably one of the hardest things a Sacramento Realtor does daily is to pull herself out of the transaction and let the parties make their own decisions. I often see other agents earnestly advising their clients and getting very upset when the clients choose the opposite action. They might believe the clients are making a life-altering mistake or they are offended that the client hasn’t taken their advice, and what they generally tend to forget is the all-important fact that, hey, they don’t own the house, for example, the seller does, or their buyer is about to.
The other thing is just because a client disagrees with her agent doesn’t mean the client is wrong. Clients make decisions based on the way they perceive the information at hand and from their own life experiences, which might be very different from the way a Realtor interprets the situation. We are not White Knight agents, and should try to not get so wrapped up in a transaction that we can’t be impartial, if need be. Sacramento Realtors need to be the individuals with clear vision and a focus. We are the people our clients rely on. We are often the bedrock, the guide.
As a top producer Realtor in Sacramento, there are times that I find myself believing my clients are making an error, which is why I bring this up. Because I quickly let go of those thoughts, especially when the client is adamant. My job is to explain the pros and cons of a situation to my clients and to allow my clients the dignity of making their own decisions. If I were remiss and did not fully deliver the facts as I see them, then I would be at fault, and I never want to be at fault. I can even say, I think you’re making a mistake, but that’s where I draw the line.
Clients need to make their own decisions, and Realtors should deliver the information that will help clients to format the best solution. Realtors cannot and should not try to make any decision on behalf of the client.
Although, when I receive an offer for one of my sellers, I will try to share my thoughts on the offer, but whether to accept, counter or reject is always up to the seller. Because you never know which way it will go, never. If you think you do, you’re only fooling yourself. That’s what I’ve learned over the past 40 years in real estate. We can’t accurately predict all outcomes. Sometimes, even the strangest things will happen. The consequences, though, whatever they may be, belong to the client.
Home Sellers and Buyers Both Pay Closing Costs in Sacramento
Should the seller pay a Sacramento buyer’s closing costs? Probably not in our present real estate market unless the price is increased to cover the seller’s loss, and that opens another can o’ worms because the home still needs to appraise at that higher price. If it doesn’t appraise at that new value, the transaction might not close unless one side or the other caves. There is often a risk associated with raising the sales price. If you spot a seller openly offering to pay closing costs, though, that’s telling you there is a lot of room in negotiations to squeeze.
Most home buyers don’t immediately think about the closing costs they have to pay to buy a home just like many home sellers often don’t think about the closing costs they need to pay to sell a home. Well, of course, sellers zero in on that commission since it’s a big chunk of change and can spend a lot of time focusing on that number rather than considering how much they will save on the back-end by hiring a more experienced Realtor who doesn’t offer discounts, but I digress.
Because there are many home sellers who never knew they had to pay seller closing costs, just like there are buyers who have no idea, either. Buyers realize a down payment is required but closing costs are an additional expense. Each has their own side of closing costs to pay. Third-party hands are stretched out and open. Some fees are routinely split, depending on local custom. I’ve had sellers ask: why am I paying for the buyer’s title insurance policy? Good question. Because it’s customary and buyers expect a seller to pay for it in Sacramento, plus the seller typically chooses the title and escrow company. I run into agents from Placer County, of course, who practice the flip. If a buyer’s agent is uncertain, an agent should inquire.
Once in my real estate life, many moons ago, I’ve had a buyer offer to pay all of the closing costs in a transaction, both sides, with the exception of the commission — but that was due to an incredibly lowball offer from the buyer. The buyer was encouraged to offer a concession somewhere to make the transaction work. If you were buying an $800,000 home for $600,000, I think you might offer to pay all the costs of sale as well. Otherwise, it sounds like you’re nickel and diming the seller to death, and you would be. Once you plunge in that knife, don’t twist it, you morbid SOB.
Sellers also ask why do I pay for a natural hazard disclosure? Because it’s required by law, and you must provide it to the buyer. In short sale situations, sometimes banks don’t want to approve all short sale closing cost fees because they don’t understand California law. I typically force that approval of payment from the bank, even though it’s only 99 bucks. It’s the principle. Typically, the closing costs for a seller range from about 1% of the sales price to 2%. Whereas a buyer’s closing costs run closer to the 3% range, depending on impounds.
Sellers can spot most of their fees in the purchase contract. They can also ask their Sacramento listing agent to prepare a net sheet, itemizing those fees. Buyers need to get their fees from their lender, if they are obtaining a loan, because most of the fees a buyer pays to close escrow involve the loan: the 800 fees on the HUD.
I do see a movement in how closing costs in Sacramento are divided, though, and it’s toward buyers and sellers splitting the escrow fee and splitting the city transfer tax. About 10 years ago, it was very common for sellers to pay those fees, but it doesn’t hold true today. You might ask your agent about splitting those fees in a purchase offer, especially if you’re submitting offers that are getting rejected. Not every real estate agent in Sacramento cares about nor looks for trends in real estate, much less about how closing costs in Sacramento are handled.
Reason #57 to Hire a Sacramento Real Estate Agent
Possessing the foresight to avoid problems down the road in a real estate transaction is a crucial trait my clients come to expect from an experienced Sacramento real estate agent. My real estate practice is built on trying to anticipate crap that can go sideways and fixing it before that happens. Sometimes I astonish even myself when I look at an issue in hindsight. It’s not enough to just make sure all of the initial spots on a contract are initialed and the signatures lines signed in full, an agent really needs to study the purchase contract and figure out what can possibly go wrong.
When other agents are excited to go into escrow, I look for reasons we won’t close or situations that can upset the seller. I’m sort of the opposite of an excited Sacramento real estate agent. Selling a home is stressful enough. Sellers and buyers don’t need to face additional frustrations if we can help it, and my experience has shown me that we often can. It’s my duty to my client.
Of course there are things that can pop up that we could never anticipate but after you’re in the business for a while, you make mental notes to yourself. For example, when your clients live out of town, and you’re moving closer to receipt of loan docs in title — which is what sets the closing process in motion — sometimes it makes sense to get most of the documents signed prior. Especially the grant deed. Because that needs to be notarized and title needs the original document to record.
This is the typical process: First, the title company emails documents to the mobile signer, but generally, depending on the time of day of receipt and the time of the appointment, the fastest the mobile signer can return the documents is to ship overnight the following day. Then, it takes another day to land back at the title company, so 3 days at a minimum. When you’re hoping to close on a Friday so the buyers can move in that weekend, timing is crucial. You can’t have loan docs hit escrow on a Thursday and expect to close on Friday when the principals to the transaction live out of area. Unless the sellers sign the essential documents early. The title company can pre-draw upon request.
Who is gonna think of this solution beforehand? Not the mortgage lender, most likely. It’s up to the Sacramento real estate agents in the transaction to make sure it happens and closes smoothly. If every moment is precious to you, call Elizabeth Weintraub Broker and ask her to be your agent: 916.233.6759.
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