Let’s Talk Like a Pirate About Sacramento Short Sales

What do you say to a biker whose motorcycle is blocking your car? Probably the same thing you’d say to a short sale negotiator, but then I’m not Myrl Jeffcoat. And Myrl Jeffcoat would most likely not be talking to a short sale negotiator regardless of how great of a Sacramento REALTOR Mryl might be because Myrl doesn’t particularly want to do short sales. Myrl is not a Sacramento short sale agent like insane REALTOR Elizabeth Weintraub, but that doesn’t mean she can’t appreciate the horror stories.

Since it was International Talk Like a Pirate Day yesterday, Myrl and I went to lunch in Land Park to celebrate. We parked in front of The Golden1 over on Broadway. The security guard made me re-park my car more efficiently because it was his job to stand in front of The Golden1 to ensure that there are at least 3 parking spaces at all times in front of The Golden1. I suppose he’s also there to shoot the little old ladies from Target who might try to rob the credit union. I hear that bank robberies by women are on the rise, and I’ve got to say you’ve come a long way, baby. Or, maybe men just want things done more efficiently. Hard to say. I’m not gonna argue with a security guard who gives me a free parking spot in front of The Golden1. I deal with short sale negotiators day in and day out, and you just give them what they want. You don’t argue.

Although, yesterday, a negotiator at AMS called; she was a bit flustered. AMS is a third-party vendor for Bank of America, which is my favorite, favorite, short sale bank. Oh, say what you will about B of A, maybe it’s simply the devil I know, but I love doing Bank of America short sales. This negotiator had asked previously for the seller agency. It had not been uploaded to Equator because there was no task for it. She had opened tasks for 2 other things but not the seller agency.

I thought this for a minute, and it dawned on me that this negotiator most likely had no idea what a seller agency was, so why did she want it? I asked her. She wanted it because the buyer’s agent had sent an extra copy with the offer, and the extra copy was not signed. Her job is to get signatures. I took the time to explain agency disclosures. How they work. Why we sign them. And asked if the seller had signed agency disclosure on a document with the buyer and the buyer’s agent. Yup, they had. So we were good, and she did not need another document. Once the negotiator understood this, she withdrew her request. This short sale was submitted for approval.

On the other hand, after lunch at The China Buffet, Myrl and I started to walk back toward my car. Myrl stopped at the bar, adjacent to The China Buffet. She stuck her head in the open door and announced that the owner of a motorcycle was blocking a vehicle in the parking lot. She demanded they remove it. At first, I wondered why Myrl cared about somebody else’s car. It seemed like she was about to provoke a biker who was drinking at noon inside a bar. Myrl is a lot smarter than that. I looked again at the vehicle. It was a Mercedes. I used to drive a Mercedes but I bought a new car last year; although German, it is not a Mercedes.

Oh, wait.

Well, I pondered the situation and decided I did not know Myrl. Nope, I believe this woman is a complete stranger to me, and I would keep right on walking. Yes, I believe I will walk across the street and stand on the sidewalk to see how this plays out. You know, she watched me park in front of The Golden1. She watched me walk back to my car and move it to a spot that made the security guard very happy. And now she was yelling at a biker in a bar. Perhaps she should talk like a pirate about Sacramento short sales and that will get her out of that bar alive.

This is one of the reasons I really enjoy hanging out with Myrl Jeffcoat. There is never a dull moment. Unlike this other short sale with Bank of America. It’s an FHA short sale, so it’s not in Equator and is a whole other animal. We’ve been working on it since February. Let’s just say the HUD procedures at B of A are a tad flawed but they can’t be the king of all short sales. I’m grateful for the traditional and the Cooperative Short Sales. The FHA short sales are the price to pay for those. It’s a tradeoff.

Our negotiator at Bank of America promised after all of these months she would approve the short sale on Wednesday. Said as soon as we got her the extension from Citimortgage (there is a second loan who approved months ago), she would issue the approval. We were so excited. We emailed her to remind her of her promise to send the approval letter. In exchange, we received this email (I kid you not):

I will be out of the office starting 09/19/12 for an undetermined amount of time. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact New Negotiator assigned to the file. Customer Service phone # 866.880.1232.

I can see that it’s time to Tweet the Bank of America Social Media Team. Arrr, me mateys and drunken sailors. Yes, let’s talk like a pirate about Sacramento short sales.