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A Massage at the Four Seasons Spa in Lanai
You would not believe how much the spa at Four Seasons in Lanai charges for a small bottle of make-up remover. I purposely did not pack make-up remover in my luggage because I am traveling very light for my month-long winter vacation. Besides, I don’t wear a lot of makeup while on vacation.
The thought of buying make-up remover at the spa popped into my brain because the staff at this resort are continually asking for my opinion on everything. If they would just assume everything is perfect in paradise, I wouldn’t have to point out such things as the mold in the bathtub grout or ask if I can buy a soft wash cloth because theirs has been washed so many times it scratches my face like sandpaper. My eyelids were rough and puffy from scrubbing off mascara with a wash cloth from the Clinton administration. I don’t want to be that person who consistently complains. Like that hotel guest my husband and I still chuckle about from the Big Island who snorted in her upper-crest accent to the server: a biiiiiiiirrrrd touched my foooooooooood.
I found a small bottle of make-up remover on the shelf in the reception area of the Four Seasons spa and handed it to the woman behind the counter, asking her to please hold it and ring it up when my massage was finished. Ah, a relaxing massage. I knew they would be asking me about it when it was over. Wanting to know what I thought.
I don’t know about you, but I am tired of being asked my opinion. My opinion doesn’t matter. Nary a day goes by when I don’t get an email from some institution or corporate enterprise wanting to know what they can do to improve service. Here, take this survey and we’ll enter you in a sweepstakes. I suppose it’s a proactive way to ward off bad 0nline reviews from disgruntled customers. It’s certainly not for my benefit. And I wish it would stop.
In fairness, the guy rated about 3.9 out of 5.0 but there was no reason to tell him that. He doesn’t need to know what I think. On the other hand, here are my thoughts about a massage in general. The way I see it, there are 3 types of masseuses.
1) The masseuse who uses the same technique time and time again for the same type of massage. They have a shtick, stuff they do on everybody. If they massage one foot with the thumb upstroke, you can pretty much count on them massaging your other foot in the same manner.
2) Then you’ve got the masseuse who is very intuitive and views each massage as a work in process. They instinctively know when they hit a knotted spot in your back or neck, and they massage it out and search for similar spots on the other side. They know just what to do to relieve a pain you didn’t know you had.
3) And then you’ve got the ones who wing it and do whatever they feel like doing at the moment. Maybe they are playing an instrument on your back and get caught up in the movement of the symphony. That’s what this guy was like. Unpredictable movements but yet relaxing and enjoyable.
From now on, everything is awesome. I’m not rating things or complaining or making suggestions about anything, not even my dislike of using stone bowls for sorbet at Nobu.
Afterward, at the counter, they presented me with the bill. The massage was reasonable but the bottom line seemed very high. No wonder, the line item entered for the make-up remover was $325! I choked on my ginger tea infused with honey. What? Miss, I’m afraid you made a mistake on the invoice.
No, ma’am, this bottle of make-up remover is $325. It’s our signature make-up remover line.
I had no idea. I told her I’d be willing to pay $32 but not ten times that amount. That’s ridiculous. Even $32 is a lot when you can buy make-up remover at the drugstore for $3.00.
When I sat down for lunch a few minutes later, I couldn’t help but ask the server if she knew how much the Four Seasons spa make-up remover costs. When I whispered $325 a bottle, her eyes bugged out. She asked: what’s in the make-up remover?
Heaven, I guess.
Then she asked if I bought it.
Do I like a stupid person to you?
No, ma’am, she chuckled.
Hulopo’e Beach Park to Manele Harbor in Lanai, Hawaii
Strolling through Hulopo’e Beach Park, my phone rang, sporting a familiar name of a Sacramento real estate agent popping up on the screen. I was just about to shoot a photograph of the tree you see here, the Gardenia Taitensis, which is the flower of Tahiti, when my phone vibrated in my hand. The reason I was carrying my cellphone in my hand — which might strike some of you odd as you say to yourselves, what kind of nut job carries her cell in Lanai, Hawaii? Who wants to stare at a cell when she can stare at the ocean rolling in and sharks jumping about — well, it is because I spotted an uncaptured portal in Ingress.
There are advantages to playing a cellphone game like Ingress. It can lead you to explore and walk to places you might not otherwise walk to. You could be lying on the beach and reading Judgment of Paris, which I haven’t yet cracked the first chapter, but no, you are up on two feet and walking off that filet mignon from the night before. The journey also led me to another spot that I would not have known was there except for Ingress.
Down the road about 350 meters from the beach is the Manele Bay small boat harbor. It looks like this is where the ferry from Maui 
pulls in to disembark / embark passengers. Gray skies rolled in, raindrops sprayed my face, but I shot a few photos of the boats, docks, framed by a large protective hill in the distance. When it rained a little bit harder, enough to put my electronic equipment in danger, I walked up to the vacant harbor house on the hill and shot a photo of the mailbox in the shape of a fish. On the front it read “fan mail only.” I don’t think the post office comes here, but I could be wrong.
And yes, there was a portal at Manele Bay. I upgraded a few resonators for the owner and created a mind control field. Mostly, though, I sat on a bench and admired the mailbox and the view of the harbor while the skies deployed a little mist.
Back at Hulopo’e Beach Park, I dropped a portal key and hacked the portal. Sure enough, I gained another portal key, so I picked up my original key from the ground. Now I had 2 portal keys and I could probably use one of them back at Four Seasons to generate an even larger mind control field. At that point, I pulled out my Nikon from my camera bag to shoot the Gardenia Taitensis when I recognized the name on my Caller ID buzzing in my other hand. It was a long story about the buyer of a condo and whether the seller, who hasn’t lived there for years and resides out-of-state, would know the specifics of litigation filed against the builder.
Isn’t every condo project in litigation these days or coming out of litigation, I asked? This is a cash transaction. I don’t personally have any information about the HOA — as a Sacramento REALTOR who covers four counties I don’t specialize in units in this particular complex — but I let the agent know that I would be happy to call the seller to see what I could find out. I don’t mind. I’m walking barefoot in the sand at Hulopo’e Beach Park. I’m shooting videos of sharks jumping out of the ocean to do backflips. I’ll do whatever I can to help. No problem.
Guess I threw the buyer’s agent for a loop because he didn’t expect cooperation. Especially not when I told him I’m in Hawaii, but just because I’m in Lanai doesn’t mean I don’t care about my transactions. This is when traveling solo pays off because I can do whatever I want. I don’t have a husband or friend tapping toes, rolling eyes because I’m talking to another agent during vacation. I’m not inconveniencing anybody. I’m enjoying the zen of this trip.
Hello Hawaii and Goodbye Sacramento Winter Storm
There is a huge monster winter storm heading for Sacramento tonight that I will miss because this Sacramento REALTOR will be sipping a Makers Mark at The Four Seasons in Lanai, Hawaii, when it hits. This is just the first leg of my solo 2014 winter vacation. The photo on this page was shot by my team member and friend, Barbara Dow, when we enjoyed a 10 days in Maui for my birthday this past June. You can see the island way off in the background, and that is the island of Lanai, where I will be later on today. This is my personal reward for a year well done.
Supposedly it will be dinner-time in Lanai about the time the Sacramento winter storm blows its way into town, and I hope it’s not a disaster. The last really horrible storm we survived was in January of 2008 when a tree fell on our home in Land Park. We lost all power, most of our fish died, and we wandered around Pancake Circus on Broadway dressed like homeless people.
Now we have no fish anymore because I flushed the last one down the toilet. I waited forever for that angel fish to kick the bucket. It refused to give up the ghost. After months and months of hanging on and waiting for that last lone fish to croak, I finally decided that was it for the fish tank. It required a lot more work than I had time to devote. I would take matters into my own hands. I scooped the fish out of the tank and dropped it into the toilet. I stood there for a few minutes and watched it swim around. I reached for the handle. The minute I depressed the handle, I changed my mind but it was too late. The fish got caught up in the swirling current. He was gone. I felt awful. Very sad. Tears. But you know, it had to be done.
We don’t have any birds, either, who could freeze to death when power goes out during a Sacramento winter storm. We gave away all of our birds, found better homes. Not that my husband minded much because they chirped and sang all the time, which I enjoyed and he did not. It left an empty hole in the house without the birds because I’ve raised birds — cockatiels, parakeets, canaries — for 30-some years. I love their songs and nestling my nose into that warm feather scent, as odd as that might sound. But there was nobody around the house to take care of them when I work so much, so we had to make adjustments to our lifestyle. It wasn’t fair that the birds didn’t even have names. They deserved better.
But our cats, well, I make time for them. No matter what. Cats are essential to my well being. I could not envision a life without cats in it. My husband already knows the drill with the cats for a winter storm in Sacramento because we’ve talked about a plan. Stuff them into pillowcases if one must and run for the hills if the house is about to flood.
My husband lives by the Boy Scout Motto, so I’m confident he can handle whatever can come up while I am gone. Still, it doesn’t mean I won’t worry about him, the cats and everybody else in Sacramento.
