Two Syllables I Thought I Would Never Say is Costco

The Kailua-Kona Costco is an extremely popular place in Hawaii.

How I managed to reach the ripe age of almost 65 without getting a membership in Costco is beyond me. I mean, everybody and their mother has a Costco membership card. But since I have things to buy and am working on Sacramento real estate from Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, this month, it seems like Costco is the place to go. Besides, I needed a toaster.

At first, I wondered if Saturday was the right day to go to Costco in Kona. Figured it might be mobbed, like Safeway was on Friday. Safeway was a zoo. Carts lined up down the aisles. But one thing I have noticed here is the people are super friendly and really polite. They don’t cut you off in traffic like in Sacramento, in fact, they wave for you to go in front of them. Patience is abundant. It is joyful to speak with them. And I found a parking spot not far from the front door.

Near the entrance I noticed a sign that read membership. I approached a friendly looking fellow and announced the obvious in the most confidential manner I could muster: I do not have a Costco membership. His eyes brightened, and sporting a wide grin, he shook my hand: “Let’s fix that.” He guided me inside the store to a counter where a lot of people milled about and stood there with me the entire time until an available clerk was ready to assist.

“I keep telling them to put the new membership desk over there,” he said, shaking his head, pointing to the opposite wall, “and have a separate place for people updating their photos and cards.” They should promote you, I suggested. He likes his job the way it is, thank you very much; they own you when you’re promoted. I can relate. I’ve heard that same sentiment applied to the military as to why some don’t want to rank above a sergeant.

The woman next to us showed me her card. “See, it has your photo on the back.” This prompted my fellow to admit he’s used his Costco card to get on a plane. Whoa. There is a benefit to a photo ID, and to think I threw away my photo ID from Crystal Cruiselines.

Katy gave me a $10 gift card and a box of chocolate macadamia nuts, along with my executive membership card. That level of membership lets you buy stuff online too. Although, I am a person who likes to keep her money local and support the communities where I live, even if it’s only for a month.  Katy also asked if I have a friend who is a Costco member. Hell yes. I am not a loser without any friends whatsoever.  Hella Rothwell. She’s been pushing me to shop at Costco, actually. Hella helped us buy a house in Hawaii last year. She gets $10, too.

I also learned that Costco is managed by a liberal mentality, and in this day and age, that is important. They seem to pay Costco employees well with benefits. In fact, Costco might be considered the anti-Trump store. Although the room with the produce was really cold. I mean shivering cold. Like they pump in iced air at number 11. It’s not a place to take a cart because everybody stops to feel the cucumbers, and you can’t ram into them with your cart and yell speed it up.

I cruised every Costco aisle. Almost bought a box of 200 macaroons but that was unreasonable. Common sense started to whisper to me. Just like the 40 breaded shrimp and the minimum gallon of olive oil, no that’s too much. Fresh poke, though, yes! Plus, a bakery is on the premises. There is an entire department devoted to hearing aids. Aisles of men’s underwear. Giant bags of Hershey’s kisses. Plenty of big screen TVs. Rows upon rows of liquor.

When I reached the check-out, hours later, an older guy who had been observing the wrong way I placed my cart items on the conveyor belt (bottles should be laid on their sides, apparently), pointed out: “That’s a lot of wine for that small amount of food.” Like I said, people are very friendly. Wait. Wine isn’t a food?