HGTV: Cancel This Escrow

I’d like to see a new show on the cable network HGTV called “Cancel This Escrow.” They could film three different buyers during the escrow period — after the contract is signed but before the deal closes — and viewers could guess which one of them is likely to have cold feet and cancel this escrow. I mean, all three of them could threaten to walk away from a home closing, but only one of them actually will. Then we could listen to their excuses for buyer’s remorse and reasons to cancel this escrow:

• The palm tree tree in the back yard doesn’t have any flowers.
• The garage floor has four quarters divided by cracks.
• This house is painted brown, yuk.
• The street isn’t wide enough.
• One of the electrical outlets doesn’t work.
• It doesn’t have a built-in microwave.
• There’s no exhaust fan in the bathroom.
• I don’t like the way the light reflects on the ceiling fan blades.
• The garage door springs are missing a safety latch.
• Somebody left an empty can of paint on the roof.

While Elizabeth is on vacation, we are revisiting her favorite blogs from previous years.