It Is Not What You Say It Is How You Say It

It is not what you say, it is how you say it.

Everybody knows it is not what you say it is how you say it, but how often do you see a professional in action? OK, let’s not talk about Donald Trump because that’s a really malo example. He has about as much finesse as a termite. He violates the first rule of it’s not what you say it’s how you say it porque he doesn’t consider his words before opening his mouth. He says whatever lingers on the short string between brain and tongue.

Real estate agents are taught to convey information, but who spends the time to teach agents that they should consider how that information will be received by the recipient? If it could be construed as damaging or irritating or in some way produce an unanticipated result from the recipient, perhaps a better choice of words would be in order? Supuesto, to get to this point, one would need to lay it out there and analyze the results.

The first rule of it’s not what you say but show you say it is to imagine first the recipient’s reaction. Will it be favorable? ¿Simpatico? Are you trying to persuade a person to act in a certain way or to change a perception? One of my pet peeves are the well meaning managers in real estate who advise agents to always ask a potential buyer if they are working with an agent. Just so we don’t tread on anybody’s toes or violate the Code of Ethics. So that’s what agents do. They ask: are you working with an agent?

What buyer ISN’T working with an agent? Are they a loser, for crying out loud? Does nobody want to work with them? Don’t they know ANYBODY in the universe who is a real estate agent? Wow, what a deadbeat sucker. You can get the same point across by asking: If you haven’t settled on an agent yet, I would love to help you to buy a home. Would you like to work with an agent like me?

Agents are not required to “grill” potential buyers.

Another incorrecto question is: do you have a preapproval letter? It sounds like a personal attack. An agent who blurts out this question is saying a) she does not trust the buyer, and b) perhaps the buyer really is a deadbeat.

Remember, it is not what you say it is how you say it. Doesn’t it sound much better to say: Wouldn’t you love to start looking at homes this weekend? If so, we need to round up a lender letter before then so you will have it ready to submit with our offer; this is a tough market and sellers tend to reject offers without such a letter. Just thinking ahead for you. I can refer a lender to you who can produce a letter for us if you like.

It’s easy when you’ve been in the business for decades to develop bad habits, just as easy as it is to pick them up in the first place. We are in a service business. We develop fiduciary relationships with our clients, which means putting the client first. If agents are not working with very many buyers, maybe it’s time to reassess the approach and to consider it is not what you say it is how you say it.

For buyers, por favor disculpen the agents who sound like they are attacking you. They’re trying to do their job, they’re just not doing a very good job of it. You might want to reassess your own strategy and choose an agent who thinks before she opens her mouth. That’s the type of Sacramento Realtor who will get your offer accepted.