Why Security Questions are Impossible to Answer

What damn good is a security question if the danged question is so freakin’ difficult that you get it wrong? I understand the need for security questions for certain types of accounts because, after all, a password, coupled with an image, is not enough precaution in our cyber-hacking world. Although I’m not so certain anything is hack proof for North Korea or China. Short of an eyeball imprint. But then I watched an inflight movie on my way home from Vanuatu one winter, I Origins, which suggests that eyeballs are reincarnated, so I don’t know what to believe.

I just transferred all of my investment accounts to another brokerage, which means I needed to set up new accounts with new passwords and new security questions. Of course, I managed to lock myself out of my account because I could not remember the answers to my security questions. I could have recalled the answers if the answers were not so ambiguous. If you answer one question wrong, they go to the next question, so it’s not like you get three tries to answer a question. If you answer more than 2 questions wrong, bingo, you’re locked out. I hate it. It made me want to go back to my old life with my old securities company.

For example, in what city were you born might sound like an innocent security question until you figure out that if you were born, say, in Fort Lauderdale, would you type Ft. Lauderdale, Ft Lauderdale without the period after abbreviating Fort, Fort Lauderdale, or maybe just Lauderdale or FT? It’s also an easy word to misspell. There are options called ways to screw it up. If you complain, a person will defend it by saying just answer the way you would usually answer, but the deal is maybe you write it differently depending on the circumstances, so it could be different each time. Oy.

Then, where did you get married is a seriously impossible thing to answer. Let’s say it was like my situation, when we married over dim sum. Do I name the Chinese Restaurant? Or what about the state? Should it be specific to the city, or the major city that most people refer to? Too many variables. They could ask me the date I got married, and I could get that answer right, although there could be 16,425 choices. I’d nail that answer.

Or, where did your meet your husband? I met my husband at the airport. However, that’s not where we were introduced. But it was the first time I saw him. What do I choose?

And it goes on down the list. It asks for Best or your Favorite. I don’t have Bests or Favorites. For example, I do not have a favorite color. Some days I like purple. Other days, it could be pink or maybe red or even royal blue. I have my orange moments like any decent girl seeking a bit of excitement. Orange is pretty thrilling. And I simply adore wearing an emerald green dress. When it comes to my favorite color for cars, my tastes are more simple such as white or silver. If I’m talking about selling a home in Sacramento, then yellow is the preferred color for flowers. See how difficult this is?

The problem is the older you get, the more variety and flexibility you seem to develop in your life. Nothing is cast in black and white, and everything comes in shades of gray. Not 50 of them, either. There are many variables depending on how you look at a situation. I don’t apply the same selling strategy to every client because every seller is unique. There are no off-the-shelf answers for anything, not even for security questions. The best I can hope for is not to be asked a security question.