Throwing Sh$t at the Wall To See What Sticks in Sacramento Real Estate

Even kids learn at an early age that throwing sh$t at the wall to see what sticks is sorta stupid.

As a little kid, didn’t you ever engage in throwing sh$t at the wall to see what sticks? I mean, come on, when you’ve got nothing better to do, and most kids fall into that boat, throwing sh$t at the wall to see what sticks is an enormously entertaining thing. There’s an endless supply of crap you can throw. Stuff that breaks, things that go splat, and even my first piecrust ended up on the wall in utter and complete frustration which, believe it, is where my mother’s first piecrust ended up, too. Which is how I escaped punishment. But in Sacramento real estate these days, I’m seeing would-be investors doing the same thing, throwing sh$t at the wall to see what sticks, only they’re dragging naive agents alongside and causing headache for everyone left in their wake.

My favorite line from the agents is: I have to do it. It’s what the buyer wants to do. No, you don’t have to do it. You can wise up. Grow a pair. Find a real buyer and not some wannabe. You can just say no. But they have to learn the lesson the hard way, which is how many of us learn. It’s called the School of Hard Knocks. When the agents become defensive and try to claim, for example, that I would do the same thing, well, no, I would not. The difference is I don’t work with morons. I ignore the opportunists who want to use agents and turn them into robo-agents. These are often the agents who learn to stop banging their heads back and forth in the doorway simply because they suddenly realized it felt so good to stop.

They also tend to think they aren’t doing any harm. Partly because they don’t think. If actual thoughts passed through their brain cells, they would realize they are doing a great deal of harm when they’re throwing sh$t at the wall to see what sticks, and they wouldn’t do it. Further, by the sheer fact they routinely throw sh$t is evidence they don’t ponder the consequences.

By sending idiot lowball offers that don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell. I’m talking about the transactions that would cause sellers to take money out of their pocket to sell at a price that is 30% or more below market value. In a seller’s market, no less. When we are receiving multiple offers over list price. This is an example of insanity.

Throwing sh$t at the wall to see what sticks means a Sacramento listing agent is required to pretend the sh$t isn’t sh$t and work it like any other purchase contract. Look at what a listing agent ends up doing with that piece of sh$t. An agent must:

• Download the worthless piece of crap to her computer.
• Read the offer thoroughly to make sure it is what she thinks it is.
• Rename the offer in a manner that adheres to guidelines.
• Save the offer in a folder, along with accompanying documents.
• Move the folder into the property file as though it is a real offer.
• Enter the offer into a listing tracker or some other ledger.
• Attach the offer to a lengthy email explaining to the seller that no response is necessary.
• Answer the phone when the seller calls to ask what is this atrocity and why would anybody do this?
• Spend 20 minutes on the phone assuring the seller the world has not gone to hell in a hand basket and their beautiful home absolutely will sell to a real buyer.
• Email the robo-agent to say the offer has been rejected.
• Put up with the agent indignantly demanding a written rejection, as though somehow the agent is offended by their own outrageous behavior, while a formal rejection is not required.

And all of this causes irritation, worry and concern on the seller’s part, because the seller can’t believe anybody would be so stupid or so cruel to do such a thing. Just as the buyer’s agent has a right to believe that throwing sh$t at the wall to see what sticks is prudent, the seller also has a right to ignore that kind of behavior.